On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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