I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
