Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize