i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
