is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
