..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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