I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Farmville is her only friend.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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