what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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