Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
