How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
