if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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