Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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