His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
