Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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