Nicole vs. Life
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
