turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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