I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
