Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
