jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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