Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Randomize
