i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
