just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
