i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Can you bring me the toilet please
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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