doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
