i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
