Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
