singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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