she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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