i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
