I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
