he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Randomize
