sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
