He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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