I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize