So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
