You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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