so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
