Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
