Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize