you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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