I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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