The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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