I wanna bring you to show and tell
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
