apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
