Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
