he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
