dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
