This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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