I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
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