You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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