It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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