Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize