If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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