when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
