Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Randomize