That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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