We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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