susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
