I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize