Jerry, you need to find god
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
