Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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